Art - Ben Rosenthal and Jonathan Snow

So it's been a while since we've had some finished comic art grace these pages, but and Jonathan Snow recently finished a beautiful collaboration on Ben's once upon a time Ryu script.  You can see some of the boons of collaboration on full display, as Ben's killer script is slightly reinterpreted by Jonathan's thriller art.  But enough blabbing, let's do that art thing (click to embiggen).

As always, while our focus is the written scripts, we're always thrilled to have finished art here at Thought Balloons.  If anyone is ever interested in trying their hand at working on something, please don't hesitate to let us know!

Iron Man - The Mask in the Iron Man Special Edition - Ben Rosenthal

Not only have I gone back to the very first Thought Balloons pick of Iron Man - I've re-written my very first comic page.

Originally I had no idea how to write a comic page.  I was at the time writing for TV and radio and those scripts are very different.  I was also a very different person back then.  I've matured as a writer and as an individual so there are certain edits made.  Enjoy this Special Edition of my first script.  

1.  TONY STARK and PEPPER POTTS are lying in bed.  Tony looks distant, wrist resting upon his forehead as he stares at the roof with a distant look on his face.

PEPPER: I can hear you thinking.

TONY: I’m not thinking.  I’m asleep.  Honest.

PEPPER: You’re Tony Stark.  You’re always thinking something. 

TONY:  I was thinking about my father.

2.  Pepper has rolled on to her side, sensing that Tony wants to talk but not admitting it. 

PEPPER: Right, spill it.  Because we both know we aren't getting any sleep until you do. 

TONY: Well that’s just selfish.

PEPPER:  Yes it is, black kettle.  Talk.

3.  A close up on TONY looking at the ceiling. 

TONY: Fine. I’ll skip the “he was to interested in his work to pay any attention to me” part, and the whole “I became great with machines to get my father’s approval” section, and go straight to – I think my father created Iron Man.

4.  Reverse on Pepper looking somewhat confused.

 TONY: He may not have made the suit, but I was Iron Man long before it came along.  He never had time for me.  Always focusing on the next invention.  Sound familiar?

5.  Back to both Tony and Pepper on the bed.  Pepper is on her side still, looking at Tony as he looks at her still on his back.

TONY:   I turned to machines in order to gain his approval, but I think I a part of me found them so appealing because they don’t judge. 

TONY: There was never a threat of rejection like there was with him.  With people.

6.  Close up on Tony returning his gaze to the ceiling.

TONY:   I put up walls.  Wrapped myself in ego to prevent anyone from ‘getting in’. 

TONY:  I have always been an Iron Man – the shrapnel just gave me an excuse to make it official. 

WHY 5 YEARS?!

Five years ago (ish) I made the decision I was going to write comics.  I had written for TV and Radio before, but my heart was always with comic medium.  My ‘logic’ told me that it was a silly idea.  That there are too many people already trying to break in.  That there is no stability in that world (much like commercial radio, which I had just left).  But and email from Ryan Lindsay helped me in silencing those thoughts.

Thought Balloons is amazing.  I doubt my writing would be at a level it is today if it were not for the site.  Having a deadline every week, getting feedback from other eager and hungry young creators, typing run on sentences has been an invaluable experience.  Maybe not the run on sentences thing.

My point is, this site means a lot to me.  I have developed friendships here.  I consider some of the people on here my closest confidants and friends.  I have been exposed to works and comics that I would not have given a look at previously based on scripts from the site.

And let us not forget the careers some of the former tenures here are forging for themselves.  Dan Hill is not only self publishing his own fantastic stories, but has had editing gigs with Monkeybrain comics and IDW.  Sime McDonald is making waves in the novel publishing world.  And of course Thought Balloon’s founder Ryan K Lindsay has written My Little Pony for IDW, Headspace for Monkeybrain/IDW, shorts for Vertigo and an upcoming mini for Dark Horse called Negative Space (which you should all pre-order now.  Seriously).  And I have written some things for Man In Suit Comics and also over at benjum.com which you can read for free. 

There is even a series coming out c-written by four members of Thought Balloons!  Ryan Lindsay, Dan Hill, Grant McLaughlin (with others writers and artists) will be bringing you Curriculum! 

Thought Balloons is a way to get you writing, and get feedback on that writing to get you better.  To improve.  To level up.  And I can see it being around for many years to come!

As for this week, out new puppet dictator Grant has thrown the doors wide open – any character or topic from any previous week in the sites 5 years.  Not only that, but members of Thought Balloons past will also be making guest posts all this week. 

Moving forward, there will be more guest writers jumping in from week to week.  The first to be announced soon!

Although I may not be around much any more, I will always come back where I can.  Thought Balloons, you are one of the main reasons my writing is at the level it is now.  And if it levelled me up, it can for you as well!

Ben Rosenthal

Former Puppet Dictator and Adventurer.

Ninjas - Sorry - Ben Rosenthal

FULL PAGE SPLASH
A 'Where's Wally?' type of page - hundreds of small characters go about their business in a ancient Japan market.  A dense crowd, it is up top the reader to find the Ninjas.  They never will find them because Ninjas.

CAPTION

WHERE'S NINJAS?
A phalanx of the feudal fighters are hidden on this page.  Can you find all 20?

Avatar - It Always Comes Back - Ben Rosenthal

1.  In the Southern Water Tribe.  Korra is just a child and is being carried away in the foreground by Zaheer.  In the foreground we can only see adult Sokka's head looking on as Korra is carried away.


2.  Reverse angle.  A tight shot severely beaten Sokka from the neck up - he doesn't have much left in him.  He holds in his arm his boomerang, clenched and about to throw it after Zaheer.  In the background to the left Katara and Aang are running towards him/Zaheer.  Katare is screaming and Aang is shocked.


3.  A tight shot on Zaheer as the boomerang hits him in the brow (it is the moment he got the scar on his brow).


4. A shot of the boomerang in mid air, flying back to Sokka.


5.  A wide panel.  The Boomerang has landed in the show at Sokka's feet.  Katara (who has tears streaming down her face of pure rage) and Aang are beginning to bend at Ming-Hua who has impaled Sokka with her water arm tendrils.  He has died.  Sokka was impaled before he threw the boomerang.  His last act was saving Korra.

Spider-Verse - Universe 34 - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Spider-Man has been captured, and tied up.  He cannot move and is on his knees in a darkened room.  A light shines on him.  His suit has a little more scientific theme going so we can tell it isn't our Peter Parker.  A figure is standing behind him, shoulders up darkened by shadows.  From the colour scheme we can tell it is the Green Goblin.

GOBLIN
You're a failure.
All that power, and you waste it swinging around town in your pyjama's playing hero.


2.  A close up of Spidey's mask, with the Goblin's hand on it, pulling it up.

GOBLIN
You're Weak.
Pathetic.

SPIDER-MAN
N-no.


3.  The mask is off revealing that Spider-Man is Harry Osborn.  He was bitten by the Spider.  The Goblin is still behind him looking at the mask.  His face is still covered in shadows.

GOBLIN
Harry, Harry, Harry....


4.  Reveal of the Goblin - It's Peter Parker, driven insane by the Goblin formula and the experiments that Norman Osborn has conducted on him throughout the years.

PETER GOBLIN
Didn't your father teach you anything?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAA

Hawk and Dove - The Same Coin - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A thug sits in a chair.  He is lit up by the light of an opened door which is opposite him and off panel.  He is scared.  A shadow of someone entering the room can be seen cutting through the light from the opened door.

THUG
S-s-stay away. STAY AWAY!


2.  Reveal of the person coming through the door - it is Dove in full costume.  He looks concerned at the man's predicament.

DOVE
What is it?  Are you ok?

THUG (off panel)
Thank God.  I thought you were Hawk.


3.  Dove is playing with the Thug's straps, looking like he is trying to untie them.

DOVE
Hawk died years ago.

THUG
See that's what I thought.  'Til he jumped me, beat me and bought me here.

He's alive I tells ya.



4.  Dove is standing, looking down at the Thug who is still tied to the chair.  He is looking up in horror at Dove's face, but we cannot see why (as we cannot see his face).

DOVE
I don't know about alive--


5.  Reveal close up of Dove's face.  It is horrific - a cross between a demon and a hawk.  Something you would see in old Japanese demon legends.  It's mouth is wide with a hint of a beak in stead of lips.  Sharp teeth point out from it.

DOVE
But he would kill for a bite to eat.

Big Hero 6 - Famous - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Front on view of a cinema screen.  The logo from the Big Hero 6 movie is up towards the top of the screen as the credits below it begin to role.  The movie has just ended.  In the foreground we see the backs of people's heads.  The back a very large man with a bowler hat is in the bottom left of the page.


2.  Looking back to the audience, but with a close up of the comic versions of Big Hero 6 - Gogo is on the left, Fredzilla next to her, Wasabi holding an empty popcorn bucket is next to him followed by Hiro and finally Baymax in his human form ending the row (Baymax in the large gentleman in the bowler hat from the last panel).  All are staring up in shock, mouths open.


3.  The team is all looking at each other, questions firing all at once.  Gogo doesn't look impressed.  Fredzilla looks to be on the verge of tears.  Wasabi is looking into his bucket of popcorn, longingly.  Hiro is geeking out and Baymax is beginning to transform out from his human cover.

GOGO
So, do we get any royalties from this?

FREDZILLA
Where...where was I?

WASABI
Man I'm hungry.

HIRO
I'm...so....COOOOOL!

BAYMAX
This is Baymax.  It appears a marshmallow is imposing as me.
Standby for threat elimination.

Top Cow Talent Hunt 2015 - Perfect - Ben Rosenthal

This is a page from my script from last year's Talent Hunt.  Previous to this page a young boy had awoken with a freshly stitched up stomach.  He finds himself in a terrorist camp, with the 13th Artifact let loose in order to slaughter all within the camp.

PAGE SEVEN              THREE PANELS

1.  A wider panel.  The Insurgent is impaled through the neck by a black tendril which appears to be made of a mist.  The tendril is coming from the figure which has stepped from the cloud of sand it made when it crashed from the plane – it is the teenage Boy from the first page.  Black mist pours from his mouth, forming tendrils.  There are eight tendrils, flailing about like the tentacles on a squid underwater.  Some are propping him up from the ground so his feet are not touching it.  His eyes glow purple.

2.  A close up of the Boy’s face.  It is almost a skull with tight, dry skin pulled across it.  The Thirteenth Artifact is in full control.  It smiles in its skull-like way.

3.  A close up of the mouth of the Boy/13^th Artifact which he has now become.  It wears a sinister skullesque smile.

13th ARTIFACT

More.

I liked the ides of this script that I have since gone back and written a short using the basic premise.  It's been a long couple of months but it is almost complete.  I have a few artists in mind, and hopefully will have it up and printed early next year.

Frog-Man - Fitting in - Ben Rosenthal

1.  From behind Ollie Osnick as he sits in the vastness of the Negative zone, staring out into space.  His arm is missing, so this is modern day Ollie after the fight with Venom and the fall of Prison 42.

VOICE (off panel)
Do you ever think you will get home?


2.  From front on.  A pair of legs either side of him.

VOICE (from the pair of legs on Ollie's left)
You have family that wonders if you are alive or dead.
Friends as well.

OLLIE
I ran away years ago. They would have found me by now if they cared.
I would have returned if I did.


3.  A the two men who were standing next to Ollie are now sitting next to him.  To the left (the one who was speaking off panel) is Frog-Man with Toad on his right.  They are dressed as when they were all members of The Initiative.

FROG-MAN
This is the arm thing, isn't it?
I think you're just afraid of how people will look at you.  That you won't fit in.


4.  A close up on Frog-Man.

FROG-MANOne arm or five--


5.  A wide panel, front on showing Ollie sitting by himself.  He is thinking - a small spark of positivity as lit.

CAPTION (FROG-MAN)
--you always were a Misfit.

Norman Osborn - Change of Face - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Carlie Cooper is standing at an open door. We see her from behind an individual who has just opened the door to her.  Outside is bright while inside has the curtains closed.

CARLIE
Peter, you're late for---Peter?

2.  Reverse angle of a desheveled looking Peter Parker inside his apartment.  He is stressed out, looking like he hasn't slept in days.

CARLIE
Are you ok?

PETER
Get inside.


3.  A large panel.  Carlie is in Peter's apartment.  It is a mess - pizza boxes everywhere.

CARLIE
What's going on?

PETER
It's Norman.

CARLIE
Osborn?

PETER
Only by name.  He doesn't look like Norman any more.

CARLIE
What do you mean?


4.  A close up of Peter, looking between the cushion and the back of a couch.  He is frantic.

PETER
He can change his face.  He could be anyone.
He could be you.


5.  Carlie has turned and is walking towards the door.  A hand is sliding into her purse.

CARLIE
I think I may come back when you're feeling more like yourself.


6.  Front on panel of Carlie opening the door with Peter in the background running towards her, smiling evilly.  In his hand is a syringe full of green goblin formula.

PETER
Aw, where's the fun in that?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

Ms Marvel - What's on the Inside - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Kamala Khan is walking home from school in her civilian clothes.  In front of her so the reader sees his back) a man in a fedora and a trench coat is approaching her.

MAN
Excuse me Ms Khan.

KAMALA
Yeah.  Ohmygoodness!  It's you---


2.  Reverse angle of the previous panel.  The man in the fedora is Scott Summers.

KAMALA
CYCLOPS!

CYCLOPS
Not so loud Ms Khan.  I need to talk to you about your powers.


3. Closer on Cyclops, however the oversized fist of Kamala is punching him right in the face.

CYCLOPS
Mutant or Inhuman, your gift can he--OMFF

KAMALA
Give me a break 'Cyke'.


4.  A high angle.  Kamala is standing over Cyclops.  However he has began to shape shift into Mystique.

KAMALA
I can spot shifting molecules a mile away.

The Phantom - Who Walks - Ben Rosenthal

1. A shady looking criminal is looking around, scared in a a dark room.  High in the rafters the white eyes of The Phantom can be seen by the reader, but not by the crim.

CRIM
Jim?  Mack?  Where are you?

CAPTION (Phantom)
A picture says a thousand words.


2.  The Crim is startled by a thud from behind him.  He doesn't know what it is.

sfx: THUD.

CRIM
GAH! Wh-who's there?

CAPTION (Phantom)
A ghost only needs one.


3.  A close up of the Crim's face, but only the left half is on panel.  It takes up half the panel.  The other half is made up of the Phantom's face whispering in the Crim's ear.  However it is darkened out, barely visible.

PHANTOM
Leave this place.

Now.

CAPTION (Phantom)
Fear.

Ryu - The Kun - Ben Rosenthal

1. The final tournament in Street Fighter 1.  A shot of Ryu's head snapping towards the reader as Sagat lands a blow with his knee to Ryu's cheek.

CAPTION:  Jinkaku kansei ni tsutomuru koto

CAPTION: Seek perfection of character.

2.  Ryu is picking himself up from the ground, bruised and looking worse for wear.  Sagat is winning this fight.

CAPTION:  Makoto no michi o mamoru koto

CAPTION:  Be Sincere.

3a.  A series of small, quick panels showing Ryu getting beaten.  This should go across the page. The caption should run across the top and bottom of these smaller panels to it looks like a flurry of attacks.  The first panel shows Sagat's fist connecting with Ryu's face.

CAPTION:  Reigi o omonzuru koto

3b.  This panel shows a knee connecting with Ryu's solar plexus.  

3c.  An elbow of Sagat is coming down hard on the base of the back of Ryu's neck.

CAPTION: Respect others.

4.  Sagat's hand is lifting Ryu's head up.  His hand all but covers the top of Ryu's head.  We can see Ryu's eye's have a red tinge to them.

CAPTION:   Doryoku no seishin o yashinau koto

CAPTION:  Put maximum effort into everything you do.

5.  Ryu is performing a devastation Dragon Uppercut on Sagat.  It is delivered with such force that it has ripped open Sagat's chest.  This is how Sagat got his scar.  

RYU: SHORYUKEN!

6.  Sagat lies on the ground, bleeding from the wound on his chest.  Ryu stands above him - eyes glowing red and face looking darker.  This is the first time he has tapped into the dark hadou - his face looks darker and distorted with anger.

CAPTION: Kekki no yuu o imashimuru koto

CAPTION: Develop self control.

Andrew Bennett - Would You Ever? - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A vast ocean.  There is no land in sight.  in the middle of it is a small raft.  It has been pieced together by wreckage.  It has a sail erected, but it is joined to the main raft area - it is acting as shade, not as a sail.

CAPTION (Andrew)
This is why we don't travel.


2.  A reveal of  the person on the raft - it is Andrew Bennett looking gaunt.  Scorch marks can be seen on his face and naked torso from where the sun has pierced through the sail during the heat of the day.

CAPTION (Andrew)
When I was young, I remember playing a game of 'Would you ever' with classmates.

"Would you ever kiss a teacher?  Would you ever drink your own pee?" Stuff like that.


3.  Andrew is looking at his hand.  He is weakened.

CAPTION (Andrew)
Right now....


4.  Andrew is biting his ring finger off.


5.  A wide panel, with Andrew drinking his own blood from his severed finger.

CAPTION (Andrew)
...I'd kiss Mrs 'Moleface' Maquire.

Shredder - Callback - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A close up of Shredder's leg, strapping on his spiked leg guard.

CAPTION (Shredder)
Oroku Saki.

That was my name.


2.  A close up of Shredder's arm as puts on the glove with spikes.

CAPTION (Shredder)
I no longer need it.

Nor the feelings and emotions that go with it.


3.  From behind, Shredder is putting on his helmet with both hands.

CAPTION (Shredder)
I have a new name.  A name to put terror into the hearts of all.

I am--


4.  Cut to a different area/time.  The Shredder has just revealed himself to the Turtles for the first time.  We see from behind the four Ninja Turtles.  They are looking up at an imposing Shredder, looking threatening.

SHREDDER
The Shredder!


5.  A close up of the four turtles.  They aren't scared nor intimidated.

RAPHAEL
A kitchen utensil?

Guardians of the Galaxy - The Crusade - Ben Rosenthal

1.  A member of the Shi'ar police force is looking straight on at the reader.  We are looking up at him as he speaks.

SHIAR OFFICER
You have no options left.


2.  Drax, Rocket and Gamora are in a holding cell elsewhere.

CAPTION (Shi'ar Officer)
Your companions have been apprehended.
Your ship is beyond repair.


3.  Front on shot of Peter Quill, sitting with his arms tied behind his back, looking up at the Shi'ar officer.  He is smirking.

SHIAR OFFICER
Now tell me where the data is before your team mates suffer for it.

QUILL
Suffer?  Us? Nononono.
 You see we cracked that data.  Nasty little plot you have there Captain.
Treason is still punishable by torture under Shi'ar law, right?


4.  A close up of Peter's face as he addresses the reader/Shi'ar officer head on.  He speaks intently, almost threateningly.

QUILL
I don't have the data, but I know where it is.
In the hands of our best.  A multi-linguist who'll blend in, disappear into any culture you can think of.
In fact, with any luck--


5.  Earth - people are running for their lives as Groot has a finger up in the air, looking as if he is politely asking a question.

CAPTION (Quill)
--he's got the data to the Emperor already.

GROOT
I am Groot?

Komodo - Catch Up - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Komodo is sitting in a room.  We see her full body, facing head on to the panel.

KOMODO
I look like a monster.  Something from a helpless child's nightmare.

2.  Exactly the same framing as the previous panel, but Komodo is now in human form.  We can see her legs are not there.

KOMODO
Or, I am the helpless child.

3.  A head shot.  Komodo is back in her lizard form.

KOMODO 
Like this, I only appear as a monster.


5.  The largest panel of the page. Komodo is back in her lizard form, stading up and walking out the room - we can see what it is now.  A visiting room in a high security prison.  She was visiting someone.  That someone is Hardball.

KOMODO
You're are one.

6.  A smaller panel of Hardball, similar to the first panel.  He is silent.  He is pensive.

Warriors Three - Three Men - Ben Rosenthal

1.  Close up of Fandral, torso up.  He is looking down to something that is in front of him (off panel).  .  What we can see of the background behind him is dark.  He looks confused.

FANDRAL
Well, this is a unique situation.


2.  Close up of Hogun, same framing as Fandral in the previous panel, and is also looking down at the off panel object.  His grim, stone-faced expression reveals nothing other than he is not happy about this situation.

HOGUN
It is a trap.  Dispose of it.


3.  Once again, same framing on a close up of  Volstaag also looking at the object below off panel.  He is happy with the object.

VOLSTAAG
Nonsense.  He may be a lot of things--


4.  High shot of looking down at the Warrior's Three.  They are looking at a small baby Loki in the middle of them.

VOLSTAAG
But he has never been so cute!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah - Warriors Three and a Baby.  
I would write the hell out of this.

Spider-Ham - The New New New New Sinister Six - Ben Rosenthal

1. A tight shot of Spider Ham - his spider sense tingling.  He is turning as the danger is behind him.

VOICE (off panel) And now Wall-Borer, face your greatest threat--


2. A large panel showing Doctor Octopus, The Lizard, The Beetle, The Scorpion, The Chameleon and The Vulture poised ready for battle.  However, this is their normal, human forms.

DOCTOR OCTOPUS: the all new SINISTER SIX!


3.  Spider-Ham is standing, confused by what he is looking at.


4.  Spidey has his back to the group, walking away.

SPIDER-HAM: You guys realise how ridiculous you look, right?